Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was like getting head from an anaconda
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize