You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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