It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize