wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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