clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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