I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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