Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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