I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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