he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize