So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize