i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't think brook has ever known best
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize