who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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