You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize