do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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