well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize