and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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