I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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