Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize