Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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