i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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