i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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