So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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