i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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