moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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