mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize