Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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