I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize