Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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