So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize