i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
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I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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