I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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