Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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