I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
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It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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