I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There's always time for handjobs
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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