i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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