i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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