she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Help. Why am I so naked?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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