were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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