Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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