Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
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VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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