Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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