She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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