HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
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i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
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I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize