He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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