when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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