Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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