ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize