I wish I could teleport
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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