Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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