no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize